Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Home Alone on a Rainy Day

At Home On A Rainy Day

I am a homebody. I can entertain myself at home alone with absolutely no problem. I think this charecteristic of mine developed from my years of living abroad and by myself. I had roomates during the early years, but as I got older, I got my own apartment. And that has been my lifestyle eversince.

I cannot envision my having to share my beautiful apartment with someone else. I mean, a someone else that I cannot order around. Heh. My family, or future significant other is a different issue.

I know women who need to have people around them all the time. Some cannot sleep in empty apartments, if they are all alone. I just cannot fathom living a life in their shoes. It must get awfully scary because no one can be with people all the time. There will always be situations when you will find yourself alone.

I think such people are afraid of themselves more than anything else.

I am not saying that one should not need others. Rather I believe that if you are comfortable with yourself, you'll always find things to occupy your mind when you find yourself alone. So that you are, in fact, keeping yourself company.

So I am at home alone today. I have been so used to living by myself for years, that it has taken some getting used to being in a house full of people (my family). So today, I am quite relishing being by myself. Watching the heavy rain fall from my window.

There is nothing quite like rain in Singapore. I have just come from the East Coast of the US, and it never ever rains the way it does here. I just love the rumbling thunder, the occasional lighting, and the heavy relentless rain. Then that earthy smell, most noticeable in the air as the rain dies out.

Of course, this is best experienced on a leisurely day at home, just where I am today!

This led me to remember Surah Ash-Shams (The Sun) from the Quran. I came across this when I was reading the Quran during Ramadan (the month that has just passed). Order and proportion in the world, order and proportion even in our soul. And if we cannot see or feel the order in our soul, that must mean we are failing in someway - that our souls are not as purified as it should be.

This worldly muslimah thinks that the soul does become tainted when forced to tackle so many of life's issues. I am not talking merely of sins. But the usual hustle and bustle of life - rushing to work, worrying about paying bills on time, taking care of loved ones etc. All of these occupy our energies, and sometimes we forget to tend to our souls. And this makes it get darker (tainted). But the Quran says that it is important to purify the soul, that means we should give it time, that is, time to ourselves that we can spend on reflection, studying the Quran and remembrance of the frailty of life in this world. Only then, the Quran says, will we truly succeed.

By the Sun and his (glorious) splendour;
By the Moon as she follows him;
By the Day as it shows up (the Sun's) glory;
By the Night as it conceals it;
By the Firmament and its (wonderful) structure;
By the Earth and its (wide) expanse:
By the Soul, and the proportion and order given to it;
And its enlightenment as to its wrong and its right;-
Truly he succeeds that purifies it,
And he fails that corrupts it!
(Quran 91:1-10)

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